{"product_id":"welcome-to-fatherhood-youll-never-poop-alone-again-funny-greeting-card","title":"Welcome to fatherhood. | You'll never poop alone again. | Funny Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\" data-start=\"112\" data-end=\"237\"\u003eWelcome to fatherhood—where privacy becomes a distant memory and even a quick trip to the bathroom turns into a family event.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"239\" data-end=\"540\"\u003eThis hilarious new dad congratulations card is the perfect way to celebrate a first-time father with a joke every parent knows is painfully true. Featuring soft watercolour artwork with a blue ribbon and adorable toy car, the sweet design contrasts perfectly with the brutally honest punchline inside.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"542\" data-end=\"714\"\u003eWhether it's for a baby shower, hospital visit, gender reveal, or celebrating a brand-new dad, this card is guaranteed to get a laugh before the sleep deprivation kicks in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"716\" data-end=\"806\"\u003eBecause becoming a dad is magical… but your bathroom door will never close in peace again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"808\" data-end=\"811\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"7ckz0u\" data-start=\"813\" data-end=\"832\"\u003e\u003cspan role=\"text\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"817\" data-end=\"832\"\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"834\" data-end=\"1062\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"fy09ug\" data-start=\"834\" data-end=\"851\"\u003eFirst-time dads\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"hv6tp\" data-start=\"852\" data-end=\"880\"\u003eNew father congratulations\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1b18rw7\" data-start=\"881\" data-end=\"895\"\u003eBaby showers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1r1mhvh\" data-start=\"896\" data-end=\"919\"\u003eNew baby celebrations\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"f530td\" data-start=\"920\" data-end=\"945\"\u003ePregnancy announcements\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1hu6rw2\" data-start=\"946\" data-end=\"967\"\u003eFather's first baby\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1w5vtb\" data-start=\"968\" data-end=\"1020\"\u003eFriends, brothers, sons or coworkers becoming dads\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"2zdt0s\" data-start=\"1021\" data-end=\"1062\"\u003eParents who appreciate sarcastic humour\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1064\" data-end=\"1067\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"1rpd19m\" data-start=\"1069\" data-end=\"1096\"\u003e\u003cspan role=\"text\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1073\" data-end=\"1096\"\u003eWhy They'll Love It\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1098\" data-end=\"1357\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"ofucvh\" data-start=\"1098\" data-end=\"1144\"\u003eFunny parenting humour every dad understands\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"18t9iyy\" data-start=\"1145\" data-end=\"1198\"\u003eCute pastel watercolour design with a playful twist\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"178tv3u\" data-start=\"1199\" data-end=\"1254\"\u003eBlank inside after the punchline for your own message\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"si43km\" data-start=\"1255\" data-end=\"1293\"\u003ePrinted on premium-quality cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1xvf1a2\" data-start=\"1294\" data-end=\"1357\"\u003eA keepsake that's far more memorable than another baby onesie\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- High-quality 270gsm paper for a substantial, premium feel\u003cbr\u003e- Vibrant, digitally printed colors that keep watercolor details soft and clear\u003cbr\u003e- Vertical orientation\u003cbr\u003e- Includes envelopes; blanks sourced from USA;\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Use a soft, clean and dry cloth to gently brush any dust or dirt off from the center of the card outwards.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Coated (both sides) \/ 1 pc","offer_id":52008338522410,"sku":"21347596029023727642","price":5.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Coated (both sides) \/ 10 pcs","offer_id":52008338555178,"sku":"23481911509427016241","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Coated (both sides) \/ 30 pcs","offer_id":52008338587946,"sku":"20524833324942494153","price":42.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5\" x 7\" (Vertical) \/ Coated (both sides) \/ 50 pcs","offer_id":52008338620714,"sku":"30729133629884531351","price":63.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0934\/9621\/3802\/files\/6367290069747233393_2048.jpg?v=1782589411","url":"https:\/\/lokipawz.com\/products\/welcome-to-fatherhood-youll-never-poop-alone-again-funny-greeting-card","provider":"Lokipawz","version":"1.0","type":"link"}